Recommended Tests

Well I can say this, I'll try it when there's a couple of people here. 

                           

                   Boudreaux and Clotilde

Boudreaux and Clotilde went to a party with some high-fallutin people. The women were talking about music and one
of them mentioned how much she loved music of Beethoven. She said, Beethoven is wonderful. I just love him.

Clotilde was desperate to get into the conversation, so she jumped in and remarked, Oh, yea, Beethoven. He IS wonderful.
Why just yesterday I saw him get off a Greyhound Bus in Fourchon.

There was a sudden hush, and all those high-fullutin people looked at Clotilde. Boudreaux turned red with embarrassment.
He grabbed Clotilde's arm and said, "We're leaving right now. Get your coat and let's get out of here."

As they drove home, Boudreaux kept muttering to himself. Finally Clotilde turned to him and said, "You're angry about something, Boudreaux?"

"Oh really? You noticed, Clotilde?" sneered Boudreaux. "Mai, I've never been so embarrassed in my whole life! You said
you saw Beethoven get off a Greyhound Bus in Fourchon. What's wrong with you Clotilde? Those people were laughing
at us. They think we don't know anything. Clotilde, everybody knows the Greyhound Bus don't go to Fourchon?"

                           

        A story with a moral...............      
 
 
Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with voluptuous breasts.
 
Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He
knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try 
to touch them, but he had to try. One day Nick revealed his secret
desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, the King's chief
doctor.
 
Horatio thought about this and said that he could arrange for Nick
to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold
coins to arrange it. Without pause Nick readily agreed to the scheme.

The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a
little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after 
she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being
summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio
informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied
for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had 
shown that only the saliva of Nick would work as the antidote to
cure the itch.
 
The King quickly summoned Nick. Horatio then slipped Nick the
antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and
for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's
voluptuous and magnificent breasts.
 
The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick left
satisfied and hailed as a hero.
 
Upon returning to his chamber, Nick found Horatio demanding his
payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied,
Nick couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio could
never report this matter to the King, and with a laugh told him to
get lost.
 
The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching
powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Nick.

The moral of the story - Pay your bills

                   

  Had to put that in an email and send it around!

                                                  Southern Hospitality

Southern Hospitality at  Atlanta Airport .  You gotta love this one even if you've never lived in the  South.  Some of you will enjoy this more than others... Southerners can  be so  polite!
 
Atlanta ATC: 'Tower to Saudi Air 511 -- You are cleared to  land eastbound on runway 9R
Saudi Air: 'Thank you Atlanta ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R - Allah be Praised.'
Atlanta ATC: 'Tower to Iran Air 711 --You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R.'
 
Iran Air: 'Thank you Atlanta ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R. - Allah is Great.'
 
Pause...
Saudi Air: ' ATLANTA ATC - ATLANTA ATC'
Atlanta ATC: 'Go ahead Saudi Air 511.'
Saudi Air: 'YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFTS FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS. WE ARE ON A COLLISION  COURSE. INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE.'
Atlanta ATC: 'Well bless your hearts. And praise Jesus. Y'all  be careful now and tell Allah 'Hey' for us

how sad