Recommended Tests

 

Last May, Boudreaux married an  attractive woman, Lola, half his age.
After several months, Lola complained that she had never climaxed during sex; and according to her Grand Momma, all
Cajun women are entitled to a climax once in a while.
So, to resolve the problem, they went to see  the large-animal Vet since there was no trustworthy doctor anywhere in Pierre Part. 
The Vet didn't have a clue, but he did recall how, during the hot summer, his  Momma and Daddy would fan a cow with a  big
towel that was having any difficulty breeding. This would cool her down and make her relax.
So, the Vet told them  to hire a strong, virile, young man to wave a big towel over them while they were  having sex. This, the
Vet said, would cause the young wife to cool down, relax, then  climax.
So the couple hired a strong  young man from the big city of Houma  to wave that big towel over them as the Vet suggested.
After many efforts, Lola still  had not climaxed!  They went back to  the Vet. The Vet said for Lola to change  partners and let
the young man have sex with her while Boudreaux waved the  big towel.
They tried it that night and Lola went into wild, screaming, ear-splitting  climaxes, one right after the other for about two and a half hours.   
When it was over, Boudreaux looked down at the exhausted young man and in a cocky manner  said, 'And dat, my friend, is how you wave a towel!'

                           

Three Thoughts to Ponder

1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments

Cows - Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that, when investigating Mad Cow disease, our government
 can track a single cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of
 Washington ? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate the 11 million illegal aliens
wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

The Constitution - They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours?
It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.

The Ten Commandments - The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this:
 You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full
of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

 

Three women friends, one in a casual relationship, one engaged to be married and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work. The conversation eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their sex lives. After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in some S&M role playing.

The following week they met up again to compare notes:
Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, 'Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat. When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that we made mad passionate love on his desk right then and there!'

The engaged woman giggled and said, 'That's pretty much my story! When my fiancée got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we not only made love all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!

The married woman put her glass down and said, 'I did a lot of planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma's.I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume. I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos. I finished it off with a black mask. When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, 'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?''

                                 The Blonde & The Indian!


An attractive Blonde, Kitty Mc Neill was driving through a remote part of Texas
when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a
ride to a nearby town. Kitty climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode
off.

The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a
whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills.

When they arrived in town, he let Kitty off at the local service station, yelled
one final, "Yahoo!" and rode off.

"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station
attendant.

"Nothing. I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist,
and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."

"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians ride bareback!"

 

Good one.

I know exactly how he feels. 

              
       

                                      

Happy Birthday Willie